He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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