ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
