I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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