There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
