Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Randomize
