she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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