i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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