I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
