that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
