i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
