I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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