I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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