if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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