i jhust puked up my retainher.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am never drinking with the goths again.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
