I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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