No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
