I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
