Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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