I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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