I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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