Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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