mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
