I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
