not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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