I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
