Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
