check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
