Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
