Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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