I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
