I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
