we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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