do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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