Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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