Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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