i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
