I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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