Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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