I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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