How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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