i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Mom said you looked used
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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