I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
