That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
