Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
