Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
