So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
