Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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