We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
