he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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