saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
