If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
