I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
