he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
