Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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