We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
